It’s okay that your kiddo is having a hard time during your divorce.
Actually it’s good.
Hang with me here.
But first a detour…
My kiddo was out sick for 2 WHOLE weeks with the flu/respiratory monster. 🤒
During that time he missed a really special field trip AND the class’s Valentines Day party.
He was bummed. Devaaaastated. Disappointed and tearful.
And I supported him as he felt all that. I hugged him while he cried.
I didn’t try to convince him things were ok or that he’d get to do something fun to make up for it.
I let him feel DISAPPOINTED. I helped him feel sad.
Because those were appropriate feelings.
And one of my jobs as his parent is to help him experience ANY and ALL emotions and see that he will be ok, no matter what the emotion.
One of my favorite teen-whisperers, Dr. Lisa Damour, shared on her podcast (and I’m paraphrasing) that good mental health is when our emotions make sense with what’s going on in our lives.
Being happy to see our best friend.
Being sad when a loved one dies.
Being angry at unjust Executive Orders.
>>> Being mentally healthy DOES NOT mean we are happy all the time. It means our emotion matches the situation. <<<
Soooo coming back to how your kid is feeling about your divorce.
If they are having a hard time… if they are mad at you… if they are sad or scared or resentful…
Their feelings are probably matching the change and upheaval in their lives.
AND they don’t need you to convince them that they should be happy, that they should look only on the “bright side of things”….
WHAT THEY REALLY NEED: you to just be with them, acknowledge their feelings, help them build their emotional muscles so they know they can FEEL ANY EMOTION and work through it.
When our kids are in the nest, this is the time to help them build these emotional muscles.
If YOU could use support so that you can better support them, then reach out!
We can do a coaching session specifically on how you can help them when they are having a hard time.
I got you. And YOU GOT THIS!
Meg
